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Then it kind of balances out.”, “The greatest missile in the world is useless ... unless it's targeted. And if that tree's on a golf course, all the better.” -- Tim Allen, “If you don't decide where you're going, life will decide for you.” -- Tim Allen, “Speeding is like drugs. In the 1990s, it was one of the most watched sitcoms in t Women now have choices. Home Quotes. Home Improvement was going to be two stars in a lovely adult romance. A church is man made. Kids learn by example. TIM ALLEN, Tampa Bay Times, Jul. Trust me.”. It's hateful, then it's loving. Whoever said a penny doesn't go far didn't see him shoot across that floor. Men have the same choice we've always had: work, or prison.” -- Tim Allen, “Men are liars. I get pulled in too many directions and I never seem to be able to satisfy anybody. With all your might. They're drones. My wife loves cars, but the difference is she doesn't have 20 years of understanding the background of them. I've been a graphic artist all my life.” -- Tim Allen, “My mom said the only reason men are alive is for lawn care and vehicle maintenance.” -- Tim Allen, “Electricity can be dangerous. It never is the same.”, “When you're 6 or 7, your father becomes this wonderful presence in your life. I've found some of the answers in Eastern religion. I'm a creative guy, artistically with graphics. On Home Improvement, the accident-prone Tim “the Tool Man” Taylor (Tim Allen) gave everything from cars to simple household appliances “more power” and … With Tim Allen, Patricia Richardson, Earl Hindman, Taran Noah Smith. We planned it, we work hard, rehearsals to get this. Never. The world's a mean place. Tim then gives a speech on Tool Time about respect for the machines. I really responded to my father. I have an only child. Browse by subject Browse by author. I told him he was grounded.”, “Women are like cars: we all want a Ferrari, sometimes want a pickup truck, and end up with a station wagon.”, “Men are pigs. I can't explain it. He tells the audience about the oil light incident that happened to "a friend". Real men don't use instructions, son. TIM ALLEN, Don't Stand Too Close to a Naked Man. Never use the words 'large' or 'size' with 'rear end.' And then there's a moment of connection with your spouse or your friends. TIM ALLEN, Parade Magazine, Oct. 27, 2002. And if God is gentle, what is all this suffering I see? It's a very peculiar place on philosophical and metaphysical and religious levels. I figure two good lies make a positive.”, “You don't know what people are really like until they're under a lot of stress.”, “The world's a mean place. American actor & stand-up comic (1953- ) ... Home Improvement was going to be two stars in a lovely adult romance. I've been a graphic artist all my life. In marriage, compromise nurtures the relationship. Same seed. Why can't we combine things to get the best of each system? If I respect Mom, they're going to respect Mom.”, “Jill, we became parents so we could tell our kids what to do. Brutal in its love and affection. An arrow is pointless unless it hits something. An arrow is pointless unless it hits something. I figure two good lies make a positive. Too bad we own everything.”, “In marriage, compromise nurtures the relationship.”, “Kids learn by example. One day my father was there, the next he wasn't, and there was no going back. Share with your friends. TIM ALLEN, attributed, The Mammoth Book of Comic Quotes. It is not your show. Women now have choices. Then it kind of balances out.” -- Tim Allen, “The greatest missile in the world is useless ... unless it's targeted. Babbo Natale. I figure two good lies make a positive.” -- Tim Allen, “You don't know what people are really like until they're under a lot of stress.” -- Tim Allen, “The world's a mean place. Six became huge. I think women like Ferraris. It's unfair, then it's fair. I really responded to my father. People get turned on by knowing a celebrity, even my friends and family. You can't have one without the other. An arrow is pointless unless it hits something. Pelznickel. As children, your world is yours. I've been a graphic artist all my life.”, “My mom said the only reason men are alive is for lawn care and vehicle maintenance.”, “Electricity can be dangerous. And if that tree's on a golf course, all the better.”, “If you don't decide where you're going, life will decide for you.”, “Speeding is like drugs. I look at it this way: How much of the day are you awake? I've never gotten over it. I don't think they can chuck wood at all! God never said, "And let there be aluminum siding." I planted twenty trees on the same block. Jill has ignored the car's oil warning light for two days, and the car becomes inoperative. Now and then we like a pickup truck, and we all end up with station wagons. I like Pixie Sticks. So it's important for kids--for everyone, even if you fail at first--to target something and head in that direction. One is giant. It's hateful, then it's loving. And then, the very moment I realized that I loved him unconditionally, that life was going to be great just because he was in it, he was gone.” -- Tim Allen, “If you want to condemn yourself for the mistakes you've made, let's be fair, that means you've got to congratulate yourself for all the good things you've done. I'm a pretty solid Christian. I am adamant there should be some sort of licensing required to have children. 3 likes . Quotations by Tim Allen, American Comedian, Born June 13, 1953. Why can't we combine things to get the best of each system?”, “Women now have choices. Free Daily Quotes. It makes everything come at you fast, and when you go back to normal driving, safe driving, prudent driving, it seems boring. I like this business. Men look at women the way men look at cars. It makes everything come at you fast, and when you go back to normal driving, safe driving, prudent driving, it seems boring. Trust me. Men are liars. Never. They don't know what they're doing half the time, and any time we stick up for ourselves, we're pigs because we don't know how to articulate our frustrations and joys. If I respect Mom, they're going to respect Mom.”, “All men like to think that they can do it alone, but a real man knows that there no substitute for support , encouragement or a pit crew.”, “A guy knows he's in love when he loses interest in his car for a couple of days.”, “I have to get a licence to drive a motorcycle to protect myself and the people around me. When somebody tells you they're not very smart, they're saying exactly the opposite. I have way too many commitments. I love doing logos. TIM ALLEN, attributed, Land Your Dream Job, Sometimes you get the sense that the Creator is getting to that point of "Yeah, we might have to reboot.". In my experience, it's all wonderful with girls until about 16. A torpedo is adrift unless it has someplace to go. eval(ez_write_tag([[468,60],'inspiringquotes_us-box-3','ezslot_3',128,'0','0'])); “Dad needs to show an incredible amount of respect and humor and friendship toward his mate so the kids understand their parents are sexy, they're fun, they do things together, they're best friends. I'm an algebra liar. The further you get away from your success, the less your phone rings. But most men earn less than they want, barely the minimum wage. Climbing a tree to talk to God sounds like a better idea since only God can make a tree. She basically drives them and uses her gut feelings as to which is best. like. Besides, this is just the manufacturer's opinion on how to put this together. Then it kind of balances out. Girls get a little challenging, especially for fathers. Dad needs to show an incredible amount of respect and humor and friendship toward his mate so the kids understand their parents are sexy, they're fun, they do things together, they're best friends. It's hateful, then it's loving. In the last three years of racing I've met as many women fans as men fans, and in NASCAR it's the same thing. It's not my thing to sit on the ground and play tea party, but I'll do it because it's a moment that will stick with me forever. And all of a sudden it's dinnertime. Never. It's okay to say, "God, I wish I'd done this; yeah, but I did do that." I was planning for this. I don't understand why it has to be either - or - either socialism or democracy. Never use the words 'large' or 'size' with 'rear end.' While awaiting sentencing, I decided to give stand-up comedy a shot. It's okay to say, "God, I wish I'd done this; yeah, but I did do that." And then, the very moment I realized that I loved him unconditionally, that life was going to be great just because he was in it, he was gone. It's whether I'm funny or not and whether I can entertain people. And I'd go out to catechism class and try to concentrate on the priest. At first it's intoxicating, but then the rest of your life you're trying to find that very first time. Subscribe Tim Allen — American Comedian born on June 13, 1953, Timothy Allen Dick, known professionally as Tim Allen, is an American actor and comedian... Tim Allen Quotes. Whoever said a penny doesn't go far didn't see him shoot across that floor. If I respect Mom, they're going to respect Mom.” -- Tim Allen, “Jill, we became parents so we could tell our kids what to do. It's unfair, then it's fair. There's no "I'll be better, God. Climbing a tree to talk to God sounds like a better idea since only God can make a tree.

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