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The 21 Best Donald Trump Jokes By Comedians, Eye-Opening Docs and Movies That Show What It’s Like to Be Black in America, These Are the Brands Speaking Out in Support of Racial Equality, Fit Friday: Kick the Weekend Off With a Free 'Full Body Pump' That Anyone Can Do, The Wisdom Of (King) Danny Dyer In 31 Quotes, 13 Quotes That Prove Titus Andromedon Is The Funniest Character In Comedy Right Now, Ring in the Holidays With These Awesome X Mas-Themed Films, Fuel Your Wanderlust with these Outdoorsy Accounts on the ‘Gram, 7 Moments of Healthy Masculinity in Pop Culture We Could All Learn From, Best Sex Positions to Improve Your Sex Life. Breakfast is really important. How did they know they were halfway through time?”, 7) “So what was ‘wassailing’? It’s as if he was born with a squirrel’s tail and he’s brushed it over his head to pass among humans.”, RELATED: The 21 Best Donald Trump Jokes By Comedians, On US civil rights The internet’s sped everything up. And will Santa be allowed in the UK after Brexit? Here are 15 lines that had us chuckling uncontrollably. It’s not hair, it’s like a furry gas. "People are always talking about Boris Johnson. here. If you start a day with dinner, you’ll be late for work. AskMen, Become a Better Man, Big Shiny Things, Mantics and guyQ are among the federally registered trademarks of Ziff Davis Canada, Inc. and may not be used by third parties without explicit permission. "Feminists did this partly to highlight how unfair it was that women didn’t have a vote and horses did. "There’s almost nothing a person can do that a computer can’t, except ride a horse. "Brexit is a sort of cereal which Nigel Farage eats. Boffin: “Not as well as that. The cult comic character from Charlie Brooker's Weekly Wipe – numpty news pundit Philomena Cunk, played by the ace Diane Morgan – gets her own one-off show this week: spoof documentary Cunk On Shakespeare BBC2, Wednesday 11th at 10pm). "Fashion works by making people feel bad about themselves but it’s done in such a fun way that nobody minds. "One in 20 people have been a victim of crime, which means that 19 out of 20 people must be criminals. Like Paul McKenna.”, On Boris Johnson "The Origin Of Species became a famous book, thanks to the twist ending in which Darwin revealed that everyone on the planet had been made out of monkey meat all along.”. IT boffin: “Things are moving now towards brain-computer interfaces, where the computer can sense what you’re thinking.”  "There’s this amazing stuff on his head. BBC/House of Tomorrow Perhaps one day, we’ll have a computer queen, with the real Queen just used for the bits that are on a horse.”, On Brexit No wonder we need police.”, On music streaming Fashion people make money by telling us we should be wearing lilac or whatever, but by the time you can afford their expensive lilac fashion and have lost the weight to fit into them, lilac is ‘last season’ and now you’re a prick if you’re not wearing brown.”, On Broadchurch Basically, if he was a bike, then I could get behind him. "They don't have racism in America any more. His bikes are quite good, I suppose. It’s one of the most misleading and scientifically inaccurate pop songs that’s ever been written. "Where does your lap go when you stand up?”, On Benefits Street Not yet, anyway.” Which is always fun to watch.”, On Darwin’s theory of evolution And Bananarama must be chuffed.”, On suffragettes throwing themselves in front of racehorses  Jan 3, 2019 - What is Pinterest?. As long as it's either president or shot.”, On technology Who is Jesus? "They weren’t claiming benefits like an MP claims benefits or Prince Charles, but a different type of benefits that they weren’t entitled to, because they were poor.”, On the internet Are you sure you want to mark this comment as inappropriate? "When you think about it, thinking about thinking is the hardest sort of thinking there is. Philomena Cunk on Architecture "Moments of Wonder" - YouTube "One of the first ever examples of the ‘spoiler’.”, On the future Are you sure you want to delete this comment? It’s a gross misunderstanding of the laws of nature. While Charlie Brooker’s 2016 Wipe will still only be an hour long (despite the chaos of the year it’s covering), there’s an extra treat for fans of the show. "There was this really good sort of film thing called 12 Years A Slave.

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